*goes to bed at 2am instead of 5am* wow, my life is so in order right now. i’m making such good decisions for myself and my body and my soul and im so in love with myself for doing this
What if you got the power to talk to animals but it turned out that animals are all aggressively Christian and keep trying to get you to come to youth group
Human: “HAHAHA Animals are so dumb!”
*goes to war with its own species, uses up all of its resources, destroys its own environment, pollutes its own air and water*
Animal: *licks its own asshole*
human: *licks someone else’s asshole and calls it sex*
instead of making movie adaptions of musicals, release the pro shot of the original broadway cast. billions of problems solved.
me during classes
- "that’s racist"
- "that’s sexist"
- "there are more than two genders"
- "ok but could we maybe not use that word"
- "that’s ableist"
- "there aren’t enough girls in here"